So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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