I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
