they need to just BURY HIM!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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