Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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