I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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