She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
