I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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