I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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