90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
