I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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