oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
