I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
