yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize