Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
