Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
