She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
