Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
