How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
