Duck Duck Cougar?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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