1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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