If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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