I wish you could order shots online.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
