Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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