I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
