; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
