You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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