Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need moral support for this bender
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
