I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
sarcasm needs its own font
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
