Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
