Walk of Shame. In a state park.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
