you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
