Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
