I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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