DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
