After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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