another moral hangover. fuck.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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