I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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