The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
