Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.