i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think my vagina is haunted
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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