I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
