Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We got so high we made milksteak
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
