You work out of a Hotel?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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