I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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