Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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