you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
