He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
