um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
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don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
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I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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