Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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