Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
soo... how was my night?
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