Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
