I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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