Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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