Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize