Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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