Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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