shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
