you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
