I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I will be naked everywhere
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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