I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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