i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
