Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
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if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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